There’s something special about sand dunes. When I was out on Coronado Island over the holidays exploring the sand dunes, I had a memory surface of visiting my grandmother in South Padre Island, Texas. I went to visit her there as a child growing up and we always went to the beach and played in the sand, made sand castles and chased seagulls. This visit was different though. She had just passed away and I had just said my final good-byes to her.
My mother and I rented a condo on the beach not far from her house and I felt like I needed some time alone so I went out to the ocean and took my Walkman, a blanket & a journal. I found a nice, cozy spot in between a few dunes, turned on my Steve Miller Band tape and wrote. It was at night so it was pitch dark and I remember I couldn’t see what I was writing and enjoyed the free-flow of writing, not caring if I was writing in a straight line or not. It was liberating.
I wrote my heart out and reflected on my grandmother’s life and what her life and absence meant to me. I was moved by incredible emotion and was totally in the moment & in my element: wind, water, sand, music, paper & pen ~ allowing my feelings to pour onto the page in waves, like the water crashing on the shore. I remember being deeply inspired and full of determination to live a good life in her honor. I made a vow to myself to live life to the fullest from that day on.
It was nice to recall that memory and moment, and remember her. Now it’s time that I remember that same determination as it seems I have lost it over the years from the general wear and tear of life, getting older and going through rough times. I was young then, in my early 20s, full of life and life was full of possibility. Maybe that memory surfaced to help me remember that feeling, to spark life in me and help me find that same strength to keep going, keep striving for a better life and live the best life possible?
I’m grateful to be reminded of that moment that day, and grateful for the moment I had back then. And mostly, I’m grateful to my grandmother for the memories and inspiration.